Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
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