wakey wakey hands off snakey
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
