just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
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