you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
