i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
