my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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