worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
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