I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
