The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you have to choose: penises or morals?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
