I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
he had hair everywhere except his balls
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
