JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
