just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
