Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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