my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
