Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
