roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
