Buhtt sex?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
