What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
