Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The beer is more important than you right now.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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