Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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