so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
