I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
