her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
