So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
