i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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