she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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