also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
handjob tips. give me some.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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