that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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