I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
