is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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