I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
