i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Randomize
