1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
