in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
