His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
