Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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