i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
