but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Randomize
