do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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