ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
