I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
