D3 body, D1 cock
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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