maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
