Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
