i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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