I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
