My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
