I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Randomize
