Dual....:-)
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
