Dual....:-)
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
