So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
