I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
