I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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