My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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