all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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