you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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