if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
