I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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